Sharing One of My Secrets

Everyone of us has secrets which one day when you're ready, you'll share them to people whom you trust.I have my share of secrets too, I mean dark secrets but proud of it. Well, many may think it's something that is negative or morbid and better to keep it 6 feet below the ground. Fortunately, I should say it's not that bad at all.

Here it is... yours truly used to be a ballet dancer, I mean a "professional ballet dancer". At a very young age of 7 years old, I learned already to point my toes, turn out my thighs and do plie, pirouettes and grand jete jumps. Since the time I started to wear leotards and tights, I never stopped dancing ballet. In fact, it was my main reason why I transferred to Manila at a tender age of 12. I was given a scholarship by Dance Theatre of the Philippines (DTP). I remembered I joined this ballet company as one of the youngest members and always have the corspe de ballet part, meaning always the background dancers. Eventually, I began to have solo parts and did some important roles like the Blue Bird, one of Jesus' ladies in Misa, an important role in Giselle and many more. But life in ballet is not all bed of roses.

(At 9 years old, I started using pointe shoes)

During my secondary days in school, I always missed my classes due to our ballet performances. If I'm in school, my first class was always a sleeping time and that was biggest contribution why I always ended up to have C minus grade in my conduct. Well, other things are I don't have notebooks to most of my subjects (always photocopies from my classmates) and share of disobediences in school. Again, principal office has always been a second classroom to me which is not new anymore to my Mom. Aside from the sacrifices I did in school like the JS Prom, weekend parties and soirees, my time was tied up with our ballet rehearsals everyday from 5pm-9pm on weekdays and 1-5pm on Saturdays. Not to mention the blisters that turned to hard skin (callous) to every toe and "patay na kuko" where I remembered I had 6 of them. You could just imagine how lousy my feet before. Truthfully, it was really a big sacrifice during my teenage days but I didn't regret a single day of it since I had the passion and most of all, the love for ballet. I knew I was a very good ballet dancer and thought I would be a prima ballerina someday just like the others ahead of us, Lisa Macuja and Anna Villadolid.

(At 15, started to do lead roles in DTP)

But things turned out different when I decided to take up engineering course. I thought I could manage my time between classes in school and ballet rehearsals. When I reached my second year, everything was messed up and I have to choose one road only. One day, I just turned my back from the ballet world and taught myself to be a normal person just like by classmates. Initially, it was fun because everything was new to me like the gigs after school, eating the food that were not part of my usual food menu, weekend parties that ended up until midnight (due to my curfew), and other things that normal teenagers do. But then again, ballet must have pasted well in my bloodstreams because I felt once in a while the aches of dancing. Presently, I still feel those aches to dance but I know I'm too old for it.

(Giselle, taking a bow with Lisa Macuja and Nonoy Froilan)

Watching ballet performances or seeing my nieces dancing ballet makes me feel good again and gives me the chance to feel again the warmth of ballet world. Now that you know one of my secrets in life, it makes me feel proud already. It has been a long time keeping this to myself and only very few people that are close to me know this part of my life.